Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
