And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
