those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
