my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
