Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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