is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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