He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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