apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I can't turn off my feet"
I believe in your delicious
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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