The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
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