I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
