My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
