Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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