also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
