If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I can't turn off my feet"
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
