i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Randomize
