Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
