Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
4 words: hood of his car
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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