Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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