I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
