Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I looked at my own cervix.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
as a side note pls kill me
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
