My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
