the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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