so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
