You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
