she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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