i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
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