you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
