I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
