So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
It's shark week go big or go home
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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