and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
