I want to have your abortion
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
