Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize