We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
