dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
