I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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