I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
