somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
