so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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