Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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