Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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