i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
