So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
