he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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