We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
