after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
