I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
