Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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