mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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