Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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