Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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