every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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