He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
