i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
it's like heaven, but drunker
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
What a dumb baby whore.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
