So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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