There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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