Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
