I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
