ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
