I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize