Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
