What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
