I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
