everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Randomize
