Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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