Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize