I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
