You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
NoShamevember. You game?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
