everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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