do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I have already put on my inside pants.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
